


Batman: The Search for the Alarm Clock

by RidiculousReuniclus



Category: Batman - All Media Types, LazyTown, Phineas and Ferb, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:31:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10923774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RidiculousReuniclus/pseuds/RidiculousReuniclus
Summary: At the dawn of civilization, there was a thing. It did stuff. It was really powerful. And it almost tore the world apart.Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne misplaced his alarm clock, somehow. He needs to find it. Fast. With Robin. But not because he's gay or anything. No, really. He'd get Superman to help, but he and Robbie Rotten are probably busy. They did mention something about two suspicious boys running around in Metropolis...





	Batman: The Search for the Alarm Clock

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god I am finally here after my long trek through the sahara I made it onto this site now I can produce works and stuff seriously this is so cool but don't let me hold you up from reading this seriously pretend that I am not here

It was a bad day in Gotham for Bruce Wayne.

For starters, his alarm clock went off in the middle of his wet dream that was most definitely did not involve dick (or Dick), so he tried to punch it. Unfortunately, his alarm clock wasn't there, so it was still ringing.

Just then, Dick walked in. “Hi Bruce. What's going on?”

“Fuck you, I'm Batman,” Bruce scowled because he was grumpy.

Dick didn't like it when Bruce was grumpy. He tried to cheer him up. First he tried putting on his Robin costume. That didn't work. Then he tried taking off his Robin costume. That didn't work. Then he tried putting on his Robin costume but really sexily. That didn't work. Then he tried taking off the Robin costume but really _really_ sexily. That didn't work. Then he tried defeating Isis. That didn't work. So Dick was all out of ideas. Then he tried the riskiest idea of all: talking to Bruce.

“Hey Bruce, what's wrong?” Dick sat down on the bed. It was squishy.

“Fuck you, I'm Batman,” Bruce said.

“What’s wrong? Dick repeated.

“Fuck you, I'm Batman.” Bruce said, but it was sadder this time, like a tiny depressed violin.

“What’s wrong?” Dick was kind of irritated now.

“Fuck. You. I'm. Bat. Man.” Bruce explained the best he could.

“GODDAMMIT BRUCE USE YOUR FUCKING WORDS OR I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND TURN IT INTO STEW.”

“I can't find my alarm clock.” said Bruce.

Dick nearly fainted in shock. “No! Not the alarm clock!”

“I'm sorry,” Bruce sobbed a little.

“You said you would protect it!” Robin screamed hysterically. “That you would protect _me_!”

“I know, Dick,” Bruce's voice was at a whisper when he lowered himself down to his partner's level. “I forgot.”

Dick couldn't take it anymore, and burst into tears, falling into Bruce's strong and absolutely totally heterosexual arms.

 

Meanwhile, in Metropolis, there were aliens. But it's okay, because Superman was there. Except Superman got beaten because the aliens were made of KRYPTONITE ALL ALONG.

“No! how could I be so stupid!” the Man of Steel whined.

“Mwahaha!” the aliens said. But suddenly, a new hero came down from the sky.

“It's a bird!” said Alfred Hitchcock.

“It's a plane!” said Osama Bin Laden.

“Actually, it's our latest invention.” two voices said. Every single living being in the entire city turned to look at two boys standing triumphantly. Their names were… Phineas and Ferb?

“Yeah, it's us,” Ferb told the very confused fourth wall.

“And this is a little weapon of mass destruction called… Thomas the Tank Engine.”

The giant blue train magically chugged down from the sky somehow, playing an obnoxious theme song the whole time.

_This could be worse_ , Superman thought. Back when he was growing up, there were a ton of boring shows on TV, such as The Biscuit Brothers, Good Luck Charlie, and (worst of all) Barney and Friends.

Thomas then used his hidden nukes to destroy the kryptonite aliens and the world was saved, except they ended up getting cancer from the radiation.

“It’s okay,” said Phineas at the press conference. “That cancer can be harvested to make pancakes.” Then everyone cheered.

“I don’t like this,” Superman said out loud to no one in particular despite the fact that he actually didn’t mind this about five seconds ago. Also he was Clark Kent now. And his reporter sense was telling him that something was weird about all of this.

“Hey, you! I was saying that something is weird about all of this!”

Clark turned around to see his best buddy for life: Robbie Rotten.

“Yo Robbie, wassup?” Clark grinned.

“Diggity dag, dawg,” Robbie said, “But that’s not the point. I think Phineas and Ferb are up to no good.”

“Really?” Clark gasped, shocked. Robbie Rotten used to be a villain, but after the Chinese Dumpling Incident of ‘03, Robbie had realized that deep down he wanted to be a hero. So, with some help from Superman and Sportacus, he was now a member of the Justice League.

“Yeah. I heard them say, ‘Gee, Brain, what do you want to do today?’ and ‘The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world.’ Or maybe that was an Animaniacs rerun that I was watching.”

“We should keep an eye out, though,” Clark said. “After all, what could be more suspicious than two young children?”

**Author's Note:**

> well that was nice setup and I am looking forward to writing more chapters for this, in fact I already have bits and pieces written out for future chapters and it is going to be great and hopefully I can get another chapter up soon please comment and leave feedback thanks guys :) :) :)


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